Sex Toy Reviews

Perfect Penis in Small, 75% soft firmness, is the starting point I recommend to everyone. A realistic XS for $65.95 is the cheaper way in.

Get the Pure Wand. Everything else Njoy makes is good; the Pure Wand is transcendent.

If you buy one Lovense product, make it the Lush (3 or 4). If you're in a couple, get the bundle.

If you want the most realistic-feeling dildo that exists, get the Maverick. If the girth is intimidating, get the Mustang.

Start with the Helix Syn Trident at $70 and give it a month. The learning curve is the product.

If silicone lube works for your situation (no silicone toys, no tocopherol allergy), this is the one to buy.

With this brand, it's the Premium 2 or nothing. Never pay full retail for a Womanizer.

Buy the Pro 2. The Dual Pleasure is the second buy if you want dual stimulation without spending LELO money.

Start with a six-pack of Eggs. When you're ready to invest, get the Flip Zero EV, or the standard Flip Zero if cleaning is the point.

Start with a Snug Plug 1. The Rimming Plug is a 'treat yourself' purchase.

Tango X at $85: absolutely, without hesitation. The Sync actually works during sex.

Get the STU. If you're not willing to do the maintenance, get a Tenga.

H2O is where you start: it works with everything and irritates nothing. Sassy if you're into anal play.

Buy Almost Naked first. Add Restore if dryness is an issue.

The Rechargeable at $130 is the right buy. The Original at $70 is a false economy because the vinyl head is a material problem.

Stunning replica dildos at about $100, from a store whose claims need checking. Pay by credit card and measure first.

A big fantasy range from England with firmness in Shore numbers, priced under Bad Dragon. No set warranty, and Economy shipping takes weeks.

The Original is the product to buy. At maximum power, the Magic Wand still wins.

Nobody else makes this material. The Egg Plug medium is the place to start.

The Pom is your safest bet now. Forget the Eva hype.

For pack-and-play, NYTC is the brand to start with. For a dildo that only ever needs to be a dildo, Vixen and Tantus do it for less.

The fantasy benchmark. Start medium size, medium firmness: Chance for a taper, Rex for a knot, Nova for ridges.

Buy Fun Factory for the thing only Fun Factory does: the Stronic line. Start with the Stronic Surf.

Start with the Wedge at $120. It's the lowest-risk entry point and the one piece I'd recommend to almost anyone.

Start with the Silk Medium. It's the white t-shirt of dildos.

Lovehoney is a purchasing platform, not a discovery platform. Stick to name brands or house-brand products above $35.

If alien egg-laying is the fantasy, this is the brand. If it isn't, this isn't your shop.

Start with the Under the Bed Restraint System. If your hips hate your mattress, add the inflatable Pivot.

Buy Stockroom where leather quality matters: cuffs and collars. Get paddles and blindfolds cheaper elsewhere.

Buy the $94.99 Curiosity Kit in 6 mm hemp, order a month ahead, and learn from their free videos and a real class.

Platinum fantasy silicone for a bit less than Bad Dragon, poured within two weeks. Measure first, because nothing goes back.

The Ion does one thing nothing else can do. Budget 3-4 sessions to learn it, and wait for a sale if $169 feels reckless.

The Pulse works without an erection. Buy the Essential first; if the oscillation clicks, upgrade to the Lux.

If you're willing to plan around a drop, it's an easy recommendation. If you want convenience, look at the alternatives first.

The Vesper is a better necklace than vibrator. The Duet is a better vibrator than necklace.

If lifecast realism is what you came for, this is the brand. If it isn't, the fantasy category has alternatives that will suit you better.

RealDoll makes the best sex doll on the market and it isn't particularly close. The price is brutal.

The OG 3 still converts air-pulse skeptics into believers. The AI features should not exist.

Get the Keon 1 that's in stock if you want a stroker synced to video. The app rates poorly, and opened toys can't go back.

Swiss Navy's silicone lube is the real product here. Thick, smooth, long-lasting, and cheaper than Überlube.

Know the good lines and ignore the rest. Put anything labeled "jelly," "rubber" or "Pure Skin" back on the shelf.

The Secure leather cuffs and the jute are the buys, as long as you read every material line and leave the suspension gear alone.

Buy the Sona 2 Cruise on sale. The rest coast on reputation and a really, really nice box.

Use PinkCherry as a price-check tool, not a discovery platform. Buy the name brands during BOGO, skip everything else.

Toy Love is the most useful bottle, if propylene glycol agrees with you. The flavors taste great but contain glycerin.

Research what you want somewhere else, then come here with the coupon code and buy it for less. Don't trust the house brand blindly.

The only rule you need for Doc Johnson: for anything that goes inside you, buy silicone (Silex-D for a dildo), or skip Doc Johnson.

A fair pick with real caveats: it runs soft, so order Hard where it's offered, and inspect on arrival.

Popular, cheap air-pulse toys from a store that takes nothing back. The AirVibe is the one to try, with a code applied.

Buy one as a gift. If it's a daily-use toy, $80 gets you something significantly better from almost any serious toy brand.

The Fuse is their strongest product. If you buy one OhMiBod product, buy that one.

Buy the impact gear here, in one order over $150 if you can. Get your cuffs from Stockroom, and budget for US duties.

Fair prices and fast US shipping, but no papers behind the safety claims and returns for sealed toys only. The Kite is the one to try.