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How We Test

The full process behind every review on The Toy Slut

Most review sites don't tell you how they actually test. Some don't test at all — they rewrite the product description, slap an affiliate link on it, and call it a review. That's not what we do. This page covers everything: who reviews what, how we evaluate products, how the scoring works, and why you should trust the numbers.

Who reviews what

Sasha covers vibrators, dildos, clitoral toys, and lube — the categories where her perspective applies firsthand. Daniel covers male toys and prostate gear, where his perspective applies firsthand. Couples products are co-tested and the byline reflects that. Every review names the reviewer at the top.

The split matters because anatomy isn't generic. A solo reviewer claiming to evaluate Fleshlight sleeves and Dame vibrators with equal authority is overstating their case. The two-reviewer setup means each product is tested by someone whose body the product was designed for.

How we evaluate products

Reviews come from a mix of firsthand testing, partner testing across categories where our perspectives apply, and rigorous research against the same scoring framework. When we've used a product directly, we say so. When the evaluation draws on owner reports, materials documentation, customer-service interactions, and comparable products we have used, we score it against the same six criteria. Either way, no brand pays for placement and affiliate commissions never affect scores.

Hands-on testing runs a minimum of two weeks before we write the first word. Multiple sessions, different settings, different moods. The first impression matters, but so does session number seven when the novelty has worn off and you're finding out whether the motor actually holds up. Our We-Vibe review took three weeks because the app needed testing across multiple devices and partner scenarios.

We test in real conditions: our home, our bed, our shower. Not a lab. The charging cable sits on a nightstand, not a test bench. If the app crashes at the worst possible moment, that goes in the review.

The six scoring categories

Every review scores the product across six categories on a 1–10 scale:

Product Quality · Materials, motor strength, build quality, body safety. Is the silicone actually body-safe or is it mystery rubber from a factory that won't answer emails? This is the big one.
Design / App · Ergonomics, button placement, controls that make sense in the dark. If there's an app, does it work or does it feel like a freshman CS project?
Value for Money · Price versus what you actually get. A $30 toy that performs like a $80 one scores high. A $150 toy that feels like a $50 one doesn't.
Website & Ordering · Can you find what you need? Is the product info accurate? Does checkout feel sketchy or smooth?
Shipping & Discretion · How fast, how it's packaged, what name shows on your bank statement. For a lot of people, this matters more than the product itself.
Customer Service · Response time, return policy, whether they actually help or just send a canned email. We contact every brand's support team as part of testing.

How the overall score works

The final number is a weighted average, not a simple mean of the six scores. Product Quality and Design carry the most weight, roughly 25% each. Value for Money gets about 20%. The remaining 30% is split between Website, Shipping, and Customer Service.

The logic is simple: a toy with incredible build quality and a clunky website is still a great toy. A toy with a beautiful website and a motor that dies after a month is not. The weights reflect what actually matters when you're using the thing at midnight.

What the status labels mean

GREAT 8.0+ · Really good. You'll be happy with your purchase. Brands scoring 9.0+ also earn a ✦ ELITE badge.

GOOD 7.0 – 7.9 · Solid but not special. Fine if it's what you want, but there might be better options.

SKIP <7.0 · Don't waste your money. We'll tell you why.

Editorial independence

Some links on this site are affiliate links. When you click one and buy something, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. This has zero effect on scores or rankings. Low scores have gone to stores with generous affiliate programs. High scores have gone to stores where we earn nothing.

Several of the top-ranked stores on the site have no affiliate program at all. They're ranked high because they're good. Read the full details on the affiliate disclosure page.

Update policy

Reviews aren't static. When a brand overhauls their product line, changes their pricing, or their shipping goes to hell, we update the review. The date shown on each review is the last time we verified the information is still accurate.

For more on who we are and why we do this, see the about page. If you think a review needs updating, tell us.