Mr Hankey's Toys Review: The Best Silicone Dildos on Earth. I Said What I Said.

The silicone

The silicone matters. Mr Hankey’s uses 100% platinum-cured silicone that’s tested to ISO 10993-10 standards. That’s the same biocompatibility framework used to evaluate materials for medical implants. This isn’t marketing fluff; it’s legit medical-grade stuff.

The texture is matte. Very matte. Velvety to the touch, almost like suede. It feels premium and distinctly different from the glossy silicone you get from mass-market brands. But (and this is the one asterisk) matte silicone is a lint magnet. Leave a Mr Hankey’s toy on your nightstand uncovered and it’ll look like it went through your dryer’s lint trap. Quick rinse before use, problem solved. Minor inconvenience for superior material.

Because these are hand-poured, there’s a weight to them that cheap dildos don’t have. A medium Perfect Penis is a substantial object. You feel the density. Pick one up and you just know it from the weight, the density, and the texture. You can feel the quality before you even use it.

Realistic line

The realistic line is where Mr Hankey’s reputation was built, and it’s where they’re still untouchable. The Perfect Penis was literally designed based on customer feedback and anatomical research to create what they call “the ideal balance of length and width.” That sounds like marketing nonsense until you actually hold one and realize: yeah, the proportions are kind of perfect.

The detailing is insane. Hand-painted veining. Pronounced corona. Realistic frenulum. Foreskin detail on the uncut models. You could put a Mr Hankey’s realistic next to a Vixen Creations Maverick and the Hankey’s looks like it was sculpted by Michelangelo while Vixen was done by a talented art student. Both are excellent. The Hankey’s is just on another level visually.

They also do lifecasts: actual molds taken from real performers. The detailing on these is borderline unsettling in its accuracy. Every vein, every texture, every curve is captured. If you’ve ever wanted a perfect replica of a specific anatomy, this is how you get it.

Vixen still wins on dual-density feel — their VixSkin “squishy skin over firm core” sensation is more tactile. But for visual realism and overall artistry, Mr Hankey’s is the benchmark.

Fantasy line

If the realistic line is the Michelin-star restaurant, the fantasy line is the theme park. And I mean that as the highest compliment. BFG (yes, it stands for what you think), GOLIATH, Kitsune’s Knot, Kinky Cobra, Monster — these are toys that exist in a space between art and engineering.

The BFG is their alien-inspired piece. Smooth platinum silicone with bumps, nodes, ridges, and knots that create sensations no realistic toy can replicate. Available in four sizes up to 14+ inches insertable. The knotting action on the larger sizes is… I’ll just say there’s a reason people build their entire collection around this single toy.

GOLIATH is exactly what it sounds like. An uncut realistic dildo scaled up to proportions that require serious preparation and patience. It comes in three sizes and even the smallest is ambitious. This is not a beginner toy. This is not an intermediate toy. This is the final boss.

Kitsune’s Knot is their newest release, a canine-inspired fantasy dildo with a tapered shaft and locking knot. Four sizes from medium to 4XL. If Bad Dragon’s Rex taught you that you like knots, this is the upgrade. Better silicone, better proportions, and you don’t have to deal with Bad Dragon’s drop system. Fantasy toys like these pair well with the broader kink world; the BDSM starter kit guide covers the basics if you're exploring that side of things.

Customization

This is where Mr Hankey’s destroys the competition. Every toy can be customized across multiple dimensions:

Firmness: From very soft (mimics a 50% erection, super squishy, very forgiving) to extra firm (rigid, intense pressure). The 75% soft option is what most people want, with realistic flex and enough structure to do its job. Bad Dragon offers similar firmness options, but Mr Hankey’s silicone feels denser and more premium at every firmness level.

Color options are extensive. Solid colors, metallics, marbled effects, custom combos. I went with a metallic that looks like something out of a fantasy forge and it’s honestly beautiful. These are display-worthy objects. Some people put them on shelves. I don’t judge.

Size options on most models span 4-5 variants, from manageable to medically inadvisable. Vac-U-Lock compatibility is available as an add-on, letting you mount these on compatible harnesses, machines, and surfaces. The suction cup base on compatible models actually works, unlike the garbage suction cups on most cheap toys.

Xtra Small series

In 2018 Mr Hankey’s launched the Xtra Small series for people who don’t need a forearm-sized dildo. Smart move. The XS versions of their signature toys (BFG, Captain’s Hook, Double Dildo) run 5-7 inches insertable and are priced lower than the main line.

These are now available on Amazon, which opens accessibility wide. No more clicking through a dedicated adult site. You can order a BFG XS with your Prime membership and have it arrive in two days in an anonymous brown box. The Amazon listings even have the same platinum-cured silicone as the full-size versions.

The Xtra Small series is the perfect entry point if you’re curious about Mr Hankey’s but intimidated by their reputation for massive toys. The quality-to-price ratio is actually better than the full line because you’re getting the same premium silicone in a smaller (cheaper) package.

Sizing guide

Mr Hankey’s sizing system is more detailed than most brands bother with, and that matters when there’s no return policy. Each product page lists insertable length, max circumference, and weight for every size variant. They also include hand-held photos so you can see scale against actual human fingers. Appreciate that. Too many companies list dimensions in a table and leave you guessing whether 7.5 inches of circumference means “pleasantly full” or “call a doctor.”

Most models come in four to six sizes. The naming varies by product: XS through XXL on some, Small through 4XL on others, numbered variants on the lifecasts. No universal standard across the catalog, which can trip you up if you’re comparing across different product lines. A “Medium” BFG and a “Medium” Perfect Penis are not the same dimensions. Always check the actual numbers.

The Xtra Small series (5-7 inches insertable) overlaps with what most mainstream brands call “regular.” If you’ve used a standard dildo from Tantus or Fun Factory and found it comfortable, Mr Hankey’s XS or Small is your starting point. Their Medium is where things get ambitious. Large and above is size-play territory, and you should already have experience with gradual stretching before you go there.

Care & storage

Platinum-cured silicone is the easiest material to clean. Nonporous, so bacteria can’t burrow into the surface. Soap and warm water after every use is the baseline. You can also boil them for 3-5 minutes, toss them in the top rack of a dishwasher (no soap, no other dishes, obviously), or spray with a 10% bleach solution and rinse. The CDC recommends bleach dilution for sanitizing nonporous surfaces, and silicone qualifies.

The lint problem deserves its own paragraph. Matte silicone attracts every fiber, hair, and dust particle within a three-foot radius. Storage matters. Don’t just throw these in a drawer with your socks. Each toy should go in its own bag: satin, microfiber, or even a large ziplock works. Mr Hankey’s sells storage bags, but any lint-free pouch does the job. Separate bags for each toy, because even silicone-on-silicone contact over long periods can cause surface reactions.

Weight is the other storage consideration. A large Perfect Penis weighs over two pounds. A GOLIATH is heavier than some dumbbells. These need a shelf or a sturdy drawer, not a flimsy nightstand. I keep mine in a storage box under the bed, each in its own cloth bag, standing upright so they don’t warp. Silicone is flexible enough that leaving a heavy toy on its side for months can cause a slight bend. Not permanent damage, just annoying.

One rule: never use silicone-based lube on these. Silicone lube bonds with silicone toys at a molecular level and degrades the surface over time. Water-based only. Hybrid lubes (water-based with a small silicone percentage) are risky too. Stick with pure water-based and you’ll never have a problem.

vs Bad Dragon & Vixen

The three brands people compare most in the premium silicone space: Mr Hankey’s, Bad Dragon, and Vixen Creations. Each does something better than the others, and which one you pick depends on what you actually care about.

Bad Dragon wins on cultural cachet and community. The fandom, the custom colorways, the Discord servers where people trade drops like sneakerheads. If collecting is part of the appeal, if the hunt is fun for you, Bad Dragon delivers an experience beyond the toy itself. Their silicone is excellent, just not quite as dense or velvety as Mr Hankey’s. The real problem is the drop system: limited stock, monthly windows, bots sniping inventory. Mr Hankey’s sells like a normal store. You pick what you want, customize it, and they make it. That alone is worth the price difference for most people. The Bad Dragon vs Mr Hankey's comparison lays out every difference if you're deciding between the two.

Vixen Creations owns dual-density. Their VixSkin line has a squishy outer layer over a firm core that mimics the feel of an actual erection better than anything else on the market. For pure tactile realism during use, Vixen beats both Mr Hankey’s and Bad Dragon. But Vixen’s catalog is small (maybe 15 models), all realistic, no customization beyond what’s listed, and their prices have crept up to nearly match Mr Hankey’s without the options. If you want exactly one realistic dildo and realism of feel matters most, Vixen is the pick. For everything else, Mr Hankey’s.

Tantus deserves a mention as the budget option. Good platinum silicone at $30-60. Not the same density or detail as Mr Hankey’s, but body-safe and functional. If you’re testing whether you even like silicone dildos before spending $150, Tantus is where to start.

Ordering & shipping

Unlike Bad Dragon’s infuriating drop system where you’re competing with bots for limited stock, Mr Hankey’s operates like a normal online store. You browse, you customize, you buy, they make it. Orders ship within 4-7 business days. Free shipping over $50, which basically everything qualifies for.

The website is functional. Not beautiful, not cutting-edge, but it works. Product photos are good, size comparisons are helpful, and the customization interface does what it needs to do. Navigation could be better; finding specific products sometimes requires more clicking than it should.

Discreet shipping. Plain packaging, no branding. Your mail carrier will not know you ordered a platinum silicone GOLIATH in metallic purple. Your secret is safe.

Pricing

For context: a Bad Dragon medium starts around $85. A Vixen Maverick is $120. A Tantus Silk is $35. Mr Hankey’s sits at the top of the market. Small sizes start around $60-80, signature line begins at $125, and climbs past $200-300 for larger sizes with custom options. A fully loaded GOLIATH will run you north of $250.

Is it worth it? If you care about silicone quality: yes, absolutely. You’re getting ISO-tested, hand-poured platinum silicone from a California workshop. Every toy is inspected by hand. The customization alone justifies a premium. Try getting a specific firmness and color combo from Vixen or Tantus.

If you’re on a budget: start with the Xtra Small series on Amazon. Same silicone, smaller size, lower price. Build your way up when your wallet and your body are both ready.

These toys last forever. Platinum-cured silicone doesn’t degrade. Amortize $150 over ten years and you’re paying $1.25 a month for the best dildo on the planet. Your Netflix subscription costs more and brings you less joy.