Black and white portrait of Sasha and Daniel, the couple behind The Toy Slut

Sex toy reviews by a married couple who answer for every score.

Married, together close to a decade, and the only two people who set a score here. Brands can buy a labeled ad. They can't buy a score.

What we'd buy

Married, together close to a decade, and the only two people who set a score here. Brands can buy a labeled ad. They can't buy a score.

  1. A dildoMr Hankey's Perfect Penisfrom $126
  2. Your first dildoTantus Silk Medium$42
  3. Air pulseWomanizer Premium 2$189
  4. Under $50Satisfyer Pro 2$30
  5. A strokerFleshlight Stamina Training Unit$69.95
  6. ProstateAneros Helix Syn Trident$69.95
All 16 rankingsNot sure what you want? Help me choose

Best Toys

Every ranking, and who's #1

  1. Best Brands Overall15 ranked

    #1 Mr Hankey's Toys9.2

  2. Dildos11 ranked

    #1 Mr Hankey's Toys9.2

  3. Realistic Dildos7 ranked

    #1 Mr Hankey's Toys9.2

  4. Male Toys8 ranked

    #1 Lovense8.8

  5. Vibrators11 ranked

    #1 Lovense8.8

  6. Clitoral Toys9 ranked

    #1 Womanizer8.7

  7. Anal Toys7 ranked

    #1 Aneros8.7

  8. Fantasy Dildos6 ranked

    #1 Primal Hardwere7.9

  9. XL & Size Play6 ranked

    #1 Mr Hankey's Toys9.2

  10. For Beginners7 ranked

    #1 Satisfyer and Tenga (tied)8.6

  11. Couples Toys6 ranked

    #1 Lovense8.8

  12. App-Controlled6 ranked

    #1 Lovense8.8

  13. Under $507 ranked

    #1 Satisfyer and Tenga (tied)8.6

  14. Luxury6 ranked

    #1 njoy9.0

  15. BDSM & Kink6 ranked

    #1 Tantus and Liberator (tied)8.0

  16. Lube6 ranked

    #1 Überlube8.7
Every ranking on one page

Products

Product reviews

Single products, each on its own page, with a score from each of us who used it.

Mr Hankey's Toys Perfect Penis
  • The Medium Perfect Penis standing next to a soda can for scale
  • The Hankey's Toys logo pressed into the silicone at the base
  • The Perfect Penis as it arrived, in clear shrink wrap with a Hankey's Toys sticker
  • 1 more photo in the review

Tested October 2026

Mr Hankey's Toys Perfect Penis

$125.95–$189.95

Sasha9.1
Big and beautiful, and it got me there
Full review →
Xomiy Chironax
  • Chironax with its hand pump, clear air tube, storage bag and care card
  • The dark wrinkled sheath and base with the maker's logo
  • The included Dos and Don'ts care card
  • 4 more photos in the review

Tested October 2026

Xomiy Chironax

$139.99–$189.99

Sasha6.9
Well made, and the fullness is real. Just not my thing
Full review →
All 5 product reviews

Who we are

Sasha & Daniel

Sasha, black-and-white portrait
SashaVibrators, dildos, clitoral toys, lube.
Daniel, black-and-white portrait
DanielMale toys and prostate gear. Runs the technical side of the site.

We disagree about products sometimes. When we do, the review shows the split rather than averaging it into a fake consensus.

About usHow we test and score

Reviews

New reviews

All 44 reviews

Guides

New guides

Buying guides, head-to-head comparisons, and how-tos. Everything we've learned from testing way too many sex toys, distilled into advice you can act on.

All 37 guides

Head-to-head

Brand comparisons

Two brands side by side, scores pulled from the full reviews, and a verdict that picks one. The matchups people ask about most.

Tracy's Dog7.5Womanizer8.7

Tracy's Dog is roughly 80% of a Womanizer for roughly 40% of the price.

Our pick: Womanizer
Le Wand8.2Magic Wand8.3

The Magic Wand Rechargeable does about 85% of what the Le Wand Original does, for about $50 less, and hits a deeper rumble at full power.

Magic Wand for power, Le Wand for comfort
All 52 comparisons

HOW WE RATE

We score products across six categories: product quality, design, value for money, website and ordering, shipping and discretion, and customer service. Affiliate commissions never affect scores. We don't sell scores.

How we test