Kink List: 100 Kinks Explained, A to Z

What Is a Kink?

A kink is any sexual interest or practice outside what your culture treats as conventional sex, and the word has no medical definition. A fetish is narrower, a pull toward an object, a material or a body part that isn't usually sexual, like feet, latex or leather. In the classic definition a fetish has to be there for arousal, while a kink is more of a preference, though the sexologist Carol Queen says the two "aren't really that different" (Healthline).

Neither is a disorder in itself. A fetish only becomes a clinical problem when it causes intense, lasting distress, or when it involves someone who hasn't agreed (WebMD).

Below are 100 kinks, A to Z, each with what it is, the safety point that matters most and a risk level. Low means little physical risk with consent and basic hygiene. Moderate means real physical or emotional risk that technique and talk keep in check. High means serious injury is possible even with care, or that training comes first. Everything on this page is between consenting adults.

How Common Is Kink?

More common than most people think. In a nationally representative survey of 2,021 US adults, about one in three had spanked or been spanked during sex, and about one in five had tied someone up or been tied up (Herbenick et al., PLoS ONE, 2017).

Fantasies run further. In Justin Lehmiller's survey of 4,175 Americans, 93% of women and 81% of men had fantasized about being sexually dominated, and 85% of women and 73% of men about tying someone up or being tied up. He recruited mostly through social media and says the sample isn't representative (Sex and Psychology). In a study of 1,516 adults, only two of 55 sexual fantasies turned out to be statistically rare (Joyal et al., 2015).

Before You Try Anything

Kink runs on talk. Before a scene, agree on what you'll do, what's off the table, a safeword and what happens afterward. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's one-page Negotiation Guide walks through it: why you're playing and what you'd like to feel, your roles and experience, safewords and gestures, the kinds of play, toys and marks, and a care plan with triggers, aftercare and health issues like allergies or injuries.

To find out what you want in the first place, fill in a yes/no/maybe list. Scarleteen's Yes, No, Maybe So has you mark each activity yes, no, maybe, don't know or fantasy only. Do it alone first, then compare with a partner. No answer is a promise, and the answers change over time.

Most people use a traffic-light safeword. Red stops everything at once, yellow means slow down or check in, and green means keep going. Agree on a gesture as well, like tapping a thigh several times, for when someone can't speak. In a scene where "no" and "stop" are part of the script, the safeword has to be a word that isn't. And never renegotiate halfway through a scene. Subspace, the floaty state some submissives reach, affects judgment the way alcohol does.

Watch for red flags. A partner who pushes you to skip a safeword, rushes the talk or ignores the safer-sex rules you agreed on is showing you how the scene would go. For the gear, our BDSM ranking covers the makers worth buying from.

Words You'll Hear

Kinks A to B

Anal play and anal training (plugs, sizing up). Anal stimulation with fingers or toys, and working up in size over time. About one in six US adults (17.2%) has used anal toys. Anything that goes in needs a flared baseFlared baseA base wider than the shaft, so the toy can't slip all the way in. Anything you use anally needs one. More in the glossary, plenty of lube and a slow pace, and our anal training guide covers sizing up by how your body responds. Risk: moderate.

BDSM (B&D, D/s, S&M). An umbrella for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It can be one scene, part of a relationship or a whole lifestyle. Agree on everything in advance, keep a safeword that stops play at any moment, and plan aftercare. Our BDSM ranking covers the gear. Risk: moderate.

Biting, scratching and marking. Playful bites and scratches during sex, sometimes leaving marks on purpose. 43.9% of US adults find playful biting appealing. Agree on whether marks are okay and where. A bite that breaks the skin can pass on herpes and hepatitis and can get infected. Risk: low.

Blood play (hematolagnia). Interest in blood during sex, which for some people includes period sex. It's edge play and never safe by default. Training, sterile tools and testing come first, and fake blood gives the look without the risk. Hepatitis C spreads through blood, even in tiny amounts (CDC). Risk: high.

Bondage. Limiting a partner's movement with cuffs, rope or straps. About one in five US adults (21.1%) has tied someone up or been tied up during sex. Never tie someone up and leave the room, and undo everything at once at tingling, numbness or cold fingers. Our bondage guide starts with the hands. Risk: moderate.

Brat play (brat, brat tamer). One partner provokes the other on purpose to earn a playful punishment. Because pushing back is part of the game, the safeword has to be a word that isn't part of the banter. Risk: low.

Breath play (erotic asphyxiation, smothering). Restricting a partner's breathing by covering the nose and mouth, smothering or pressing on the chest. There is no safe version. It can cause brain damage or death even when nobody makes a mistake, and in one review of published BDSM deaths, 88.2% came from strangulation during erotic asphyxiation (Schori et al., 2022). We don't explain how to do it. Risk: high.

Breeding kink (breeding fetish, impregnation kink). A strong attraction to the idea of getting someone pregnant or being made pregnant, often with a power-exchange side (WebMD). A pregnancy fetish is something else, an attraction to pregnant bodies. As fantasy or roleplay it's safe. Acted out, use contraception unless you want a child, and remember that sex without a barrier carries STI risk. Risk: low.

Kinks Starting With C

Caning. A thin rod, usually rattan, that lands one line of sharp sting. It's the advanced end of impact play, because a cane puts all its force on a thin line and a bad aim lands on bone. Learn with other toys first. Risk: high.

Chastity (cages, belts, key-holding). A lockable cage or belt that keeps someone from touching their genitals until the key-holder says so, usually inside a D/s dynamic. Stainless steel cleans more thoroughly than porousPorous and nonporousPorous materials like TPE, jelly and Cyberskin have tiny pores that can hold bacteria. Nonporous ones like silicone, glass and steel can be cleaned completely. More in the glossary plastic. Keep a fast way to get it off, because a rigid ring that traps the penis is an emergency. Risk: moderate.

Choking (strangulation). Pressure on the neck by hand, arm or anything else during sex. At one US university, 26.5% of women had been choked during their most recent sex (Herbenick et al., 2023). There is no safe version. Pressure on the neck can knock someone out fast, cause a stroke by tearing an artery and swell the airway shut hours later, often with no visible mark (StatPearls). Risk: high.

CNC (consensual non-consent) (ravishment, resistance roleplay, fear play). A scene negotiated in advance that looks like coercion or resistance, where everyone has agreed on how it goes. The fantasy is common, and studies put forced-sex fantasies at 31% to 57% of women (Critelli and Bivona, 2008). Negotiate in detail and sober, build trust with short scenes first, and keep a safeword that isn't part of the script (Psychology Today). Never renegotiate mid-scene. Risk: high.

Cock and ball torture (CBT, ball busting). Consensual pain play on the penis and testicles, from squeezing and slapping to weights and clamps. Watch skin color, take off anything constricting before the skin darkens, and keep constriction under 30 minutes. Severe pain or swelling after a blow to the testicles needs a doctor. Risk: high.

Collaring (collars, leashes). A collar a submissive wears as a sign of a D/s relationship, or that a scene has begun. For some couples it means what a wedding ring does. A collar is a symbol, never a restraint. A finger should slide under it, and nothing ever connects it to a bed or the wrists. Risk: low.

Corsets and tight-lacing. Corsets laced tight to change the silhouette, sometimes for waist training. Tight compression squeezes the ribs, makes breathing harder and can make reflux worse, so loosen it at any breathlessness (Cleveland Clinic). Risk: moderate.

Cuckolding. Arousal from a partner having sex with someone else, often with themes of humiliation or submission. It takes honest talk, consent from everyone involved and the partner's pace, and anyone new means STI testing. Risk: moderate.

Cuffs and bed restraints (under-bed systems, door cuffs). Padded cuffs on wrists or ankles, clipped to straps under the mattress, over a door or to each other. Narrow pressure at the wrist injures a nerve on the back of the hand, so use wide cuffs with a two-finger fit, and clip them on with panic snaps, which open under load. Our beginner BDSM kit has the gear. Risk: moderate.

Cupping. Suction cups on the skin, used in kink for sensation and marks. They can leave lasting discoloration, scars, burns and infections, and may make eczema or psoriasis worse (NCCIH). Risk: low.

Kinks D to E

Dacryphilia. Arousal from tears or crying, your own or a partner's. It needs consent from everyone and emotional check-ins during and after. Risk: low.

Degradation and humiliation. Consensual play with feeling lowered or embarrassed, through words, roles or acts. Agree on the words and topics that are off limits before you start, and take emotional aftercare as seriously as physical. Risk: moderate.

Dirty talk. Explicit talk during sex. 56.2% of US adults find it appealing, which makes it one of the most popular things on this list. Agree on the words you don't want to hear. Risk: low.

Discipline (rules and punishments). The dominant partner sets agreed rules and agreed punishments for breaking them. Both are negotiated play that either partner can change at any time. Risk: low.

Doll and robot play (agalmatophilia). Attraction to dolls, mannequins or robots, or the fantasy of being turned into a doll. A study of doll owners found no evidence that they pose a greater sexual risk than people without one. Clean a doll the way its maker says, and our sex doll ranking lists only makers that sell adult dolls. Risk: low.

Dominance and submission (D/s, Dom/sub, Domme). A power exchange in which the submissive gives the dominant specific kinds of control, inside negotiated limits. The submissive keeps the power to stop, and a safeword doesn't replace checking in. Risk: low.

Edge play (edgeplay). An umbrella for the riskiest kink, from knives and needles to fire, where people follow RACK, risk-aware consensual kink. Education and training come before any of it. The word also gets used loosely for edging, which is something else. Risk: high.

Edging (peaking). Stopping stimulation right before orgasm, waiting, then starting again, for a stronger orgasm or to last longer. It grew out of a 1956 stop-start treatment for premature ejaculation. Our pocket pussy guide covers edging with a stroker. Risk: low.

Electrostimulation (e-stim, electro play). Toys that pass a mild current through the skin or genitals. Current can interfere with pacemakers, defibrillators and other implants, and it never goes across the chest, over the neck or near the eyes. Clinical guidance calls the risks of stimulating the genitals unknown. Risk: high.

Erotic hypnosis. Using hypnotic suggestion toward a sexual goal. It amplifies desires a person already has, and it isn't mind control. Negotiate the scene and its limits first. Possible effects include anxiety, headaches, dizziness and false memories, and anyone with symptoms of psychosis should be careful (Go Ask Alice!). Risk: low.

Exhibitionism (consensual). Arousal from being seen naked or having sex, by a partner or a willing audience. The thought of public sex turned on 81% of men and 84% of women in Lehmiller's survey. Only ever in front of people who agreed, and sex in public is often illegal. Risk: low, with legal risk in public.

Kinks Starting With F

Facesitting (queening). One partner sits on the other's face, often for oral sex. If it restricts breathing it becomes smothering, so keep the airway clear and agree on a tap-out signal. Risk: moderate.

Feederism (feeder, feedee). Arousal from eating, feeding a partner or gaining weight. Deliberate weight gain carries the health risks of obesity, from high blood pressure to type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Risk: moderate.

Fictional characters and cosplay. Fantasies about characters from books, films or anime, sometimes acted out in costume. More than half of Lehmiller's respondents had fantasized about a fictional character. Keep every character an adult. Risk: low.

Filming and photos. Arousal from recording sex or taking intimate photos. Agree on what's recorded, where it's kept and who sees it. Every US state has a law against sharing intimate images without consent (Cyber Civil Rights Initiative). Risk: low, with privacy risk.

Financial domination (findom). A submissive gets satisfaction from giving money or gifts to a dominant, often online and often with no sex at all. Set a budget you can afford, and treat spending that feels out of control as a warning sign. Risk: moderate.

Fire play. A brief flame on or near the skin, usually fueled by alcohol. Accelerant burns can need skin grafts, so this needs hands-on training from someone experienced, never a video. Risk: high.

Fisting. Putting a whole hand inside the vagina or anus. Use lots of lube, short smooth nails and gloves, go far slower than you think and pull out slowly. Pain, fever or bleeding afterward can mean a tear and needs medical care right away. Our anal training guide explains why force and speed hurt people more than width. Risk: high.

Flogging. A handle with many tails. More tails feel thuddier and fewer feel stingier. Practice on a pillow first, and watch for wrap, where the tips curl around onto the ribs or a hip. Our BDSM ranking has floggers to start with. Risk: moderate.

Foot fetish (podophilia). Sexual interest in feet or toes, the most common fetish target in a study of 381 online groups (Scorolli et al., 2007). 18% of US adults have licked or sucked a partner's toes. Keep nails short and treat athlete's foot before any skin-to-genital contact. Risk: low.

Forced orgasm (overstimulation). A willing partner is brought to orgasm again and again, often restrained, as part of a consensual scene. Agree beforehand on when it ends, a number or the moment the receiver asks, and keep the safeword simple. Risk: low.

Kinks G to L

Gags (ball, bit and ring gags). Something in the mouth that stops speech. A gag means a non-verbal safeword, like tapping out, and a gag you can clean properly, like silicone. Leave gags out while you're learning. Risk: moderate.

Gender play (cross-dressing, feminization). Playing with gender roles or presentation during sex. Gender-bending is one of the seven big fantasy themes in Lehmiller's survey. Keep it respectful of each person's identity. Risk: low.

Hair fetish (trichophilia). Arousal from hair, most often on the head, from long hair to haircuts. Risk: low.

Hair pulling. Pulling a partner's hair during sex. Talk first and show each other the pressure you like. Risk: low.

Hogtie. Wrists tied to ankles behind the back, usually face-down. Face-down restraint has a documented death risk in police custody, and our bondage guide tells beginners to skip it. Risk: high.

Hotwifing. A partner, usually a wife, has sex with others with her partner's encouragement. Unlike cuckolding, it centers on pride rather than humiliation. The same honest talk applies, and so does STI testing. Risk: moderate.

Impact play (spanking, paddles, floggers, crops). One person receives impact for pleasure. Hit the meaty areas, the buttocks and thighs, and avoid the spine, lower back, stomach, head, ears and calves. Ask about bruising and health issues first, and use a pain scale from 1 to 10 (Healthline). Risk: moderate.

Knife play. Using a knife for fear, sensation or cutting, often with no blood at all. A knife can open a major blood vessel, so get training, sterilize the blade and stay away from high-risk areas. Risk: high.

Latex and rubber (PVC, vinyl). Arousal from wearing or touching latex, rubber or shiny PVC. Latex allergy can cause hives, asthma symptoms and anaphylaxis, and even latex proteins in the air can set it off (ACAAI). Risk: low, moderate with an allergy.

Leather. Arousal from leather clothing and gear. Leather is porous, so gear that touched blood or body fluids can't be fully disinfected and should stay with one person. Stockroom makes its own leather gear in Los Angeles. Risk: low.

Lingerie and underwear. Arousal from wearing or seeing sexy underwear. 51.8% of US adults have worn it for a partner, 75.4% of women, and 59.8% find it appealing. Risk: low.

Long-distance remote play (teledildonics). App-controlled toys a partner runs from across the room or across the world. Mind the privacy. In 2017 We-Vibe's maker settled a $3.75 million class action over claims that its app collected data on when and how its toys were used (NPR). Our long-distance guide and app privacy guide cover the rest. Risk: low.

Kinks M to O

Machine play. Motorized machines that thrust or vibrate hands-free. Start at the lowest speed and depth, use plenty of lube, and keep the stop control within the receiver's reach. Our sex machine ranking covers the makers. Risk: moderate.

Masochism (pain play). Pleasure from receiving pain or humiliation you've agreed to. In a Quebec survey, interest in masochism went with higher satisfaction with one's own sex life (Joyal and Carpentier, 2017). Drop can follow right away or days later, so plan aftercare and a check-in the next day. Risk: moderate.

Medical play (doctor and patient). Roleplay with medical settings, uniforms and props. No real procedures, and anything that goes inside the body has to be sterile and used gently. Risk: low.

Monster and creature fantasy (tentacles, aliens, knots, eggs). Fantasies about mythical creatures or aliens, and a third of Lehmiller's respondents had fantasized about a mythical creature. Fantasy-shaped silicone toys with knots or eggs let people play it out, and our fantasy dildo ranking covers the makers. Body-safe siliconeBody-safe siliconePure silicone with no fillers. It's nonporous, so it cleans completely, and "platinum-cured" on the listing is the best sign you're getting the real thing. More in the glossary, and a flared base for anything anal. Risk: low.

Mummification (body wrapping). Wrapping a partner in plastic wrap, tape or sheeting so they can't move. The wrap squeezes the chest, so keep the nose, mouth and chest free, keep trauma shears in reach, never leave them alone, and no drugs or alcohol. Risk: high.

Needle play (play piercing). Piercing the skin with sterile, single-use needles for sensation. Breaking the skin risks infection and blood loss, and there's no vaccine against hepatitis C, which spreads through blood. Risk: high.

Nipple play and clamps. Stimulating the nipples by touch, suction or clamps. Start with adjustable clamps for about five minutes, and expect the sharpest feeling when they come off, as the blood rushes back. Clover clamps don't adjust and come later. Vigorous nipple stimulation can trigger contractions in pregnancy. Risk: low.

Nylons and stockings. Arousal from wearing pantyhose or stockings, watching someone wear them, or both. Risk: low.

Objectification and human furniture (forniphilia). Play in which one partner is treated as an object, like a footrest. Holding one position presses on nerves and joints, so set a time limit and check hands and feet. Risk: moderate.

Orgasm control (tease and denial). One partner decides when, or whether, the other comes, by teasing, stopping or refusing. It can be emotionally jarring, so negotiate it like any other scene. Risk: low.

Kinks P to R

Paddling. Impact with a flat paddle that covers more skin at once. Silicone feels stingy and wood feels thuddy. A wide, flat paddle is the easiest to learn with, and our beginner BDSM kit has one. Risk: moderate.

Pegging and strap-on play. One partner wears a harness and dildo to penetrate the other. Pegging usually means anal penetration with a strap-on, though the word has broadened. Start with a small body-safe dildo, plenty of water-based lube and the receiver's pace. Our strap-on ranking covers harnesses and kits. Risk: low.

Pet play (pup play, kitten play). Adults take on an animal persona, most often a puppy, with a partner as owner. Research describes it as a kink with a relaxing headspace, played by people only (Wignall and McCormack, 2017). Risk: low.

Phone sex, sexting and camming. Sexual messages, calls or video sex. 12.1% of US adults have had sex over a video call, and 26.8% find phone sex appealing. Sharing someone's intimate images without consent is illegal. Risk: low.

Praise kink. Arousal from being praised during sex, from being told you're good to hearing you're wanted. There's no medical definition yet, but the appeal is wide: 80.9% of US adults find sweet, romantic talk during sex appealing. Agree on the words and names you love and the ones that are off limits. Risk: low.

Predicament bondage. Restraint that leaves the bound person a choice between positions that are each uncomfortable. Strain builds fast, so keep it short, stay right there, and never involve the neck. Risk: high.

Public play with a remote toy. A hidden, remote-controlled vibrator worn in public and run by a partner. Keep it truly discreet, because anyone who notices hasn't agreed, and public sex acts are often illegal. Risk: low.

Pumping (vacuum pumps). A vacuum tube that draws blood into the penis, for sensation, a temporary size boost or an erection. Pick a pump with a vacuum limiter, don't leave the constriction ring on more than 30 minutes, and wait an hour before pumping again (WebMD). Risk: moderate.

Rimming (anilingus). Oral stimulation of the anus. It can pass gut bacteria, parasites and STIs including hepatitis A and B, so a dental dam helps, and the hepatitis A and B vaccines are worth asking a doctor about. Risk: moderate.

Roleplay. Acting out characters or scenarios, from describing a fantasy to costumes and full scenes. 23.7% of US adults have role played with a partner. Keep every scenario between adults, and use a safeword that stands outside the script. Risk: low.

Rope bondage (shibari, kinbaku). Tying a partner with rope, often in Japanese-influenced styles. The radial nerve is the most common injury, and 90% of the injured people in one survey of riggers had damaged it (Khodulev et al., 2023). Keep wraps off the outside of the upper arm above the elbow, learn a single column tie first, keep shears in reach, and never put rope on the neck. Twisted Monk sells rope and posts free tutorials. Risk: high.

Rough sex. Consensual sex that's more physically intense, from forceful kissing and hard thrusting to spanking. 41% of US adults find it appealing. Get consent for specific acts, keep a safeword anyone can use, and leave out choking. Risk: moderate.

Ruined orgasm. Stimulation stops at the last moment, so the orgasm happens without its full release. Negotiate it first, like any orgasm control. Risk: low.

Kinks Starting With S

Sadism (giving pain). Pleasure from giving pain or humiliation to a partner who wants it. In Lehmiller's survey, 56% of men and 60% of women had fantasized about it. Stay on the areas that can take it, and use a 1 to 10 pain scale to keep intensity where you both agreed. Risk: moderate.

Sensation play. Play built on contrasts, feathers, fur, ice, warmth and light pinches, often with a blindfold on. Ask about allergies first. Risk: low.

Sensory deprivation (blindfolds, hoods, earplugs). Taking away sight or hearing so the other senses sharpen. 34.9% of US adults find blindfolding appealing. A blindfold is low risk. A hood takes away ways to signal, so agree on a non-verbal one and keep the airway clear. Risk: low, moderate with a hood.

Service submission. Submission shown through tasks for the dominant, like a massage, chores or serving dinner. Agree on the tasks and limits up front, and it stays play the submissive can stop. Risk: low.

Sex furniture and slings (wedges, benches, swings). Wedges, spanking benches, slings and swings that hold bodies in positions. Check the maker's weight rating and anchor points before use. Our sex furniture ranking covers the makers. Risk: low.

Shoes, boots and heels (retifism). Arousal centered on footwear, which ranks just behind clothes worn on the hips and legs among object fetishes. Risk: low.

Size play. Arousal from size, whether very large toys, stretching or partners of very different sizes. Size up by how your body responds, not on a schedule, with lots of lube and a flared base for anything anal. Our size play ranking covers the makers. Risk: moderate.

Slapping (face slapping). Open-hand strikes on the thighs, breasts, genitals or face. Learn on the buttocks first, and keep away from the ears. Slaps caused 72.9% of the burst eardrums in one hospital series. Risk: moderate, high on the face.

Sounding (urethral play). Inserting smooth, sterile rods or plugs into the urethra. Sterilize everything, use plenty of lube and never force it. The risks include infection, tissue damage and a toy getting stuck, and in 151 published cases of objects stuck in the lower urinary tract, 39.1% needed open surgery. Risk: high.

Spanking. Striking the buttocks with an open hand or an implement, the most common kink in the US survey at 31.9%. Start with the hand, warm up with light strokes and aim for the lower curve of the buttocks. Our beginner BDSM kit starts there too. Risk: low.

Spreader bars. A rigid bar with a cuff or clip at each end that holds the ankles or wrists apart. Use quick-release clips and the same cuff fit as any restraint. Risk: low.

Suspension. Lifting a tied person partly or fully off the ground with rope. Hanging still in a harness or rope can make someone faint within minutes (Cleveland Clinic), and nerve injuries in the rigger survey followed full suspensions. Learn in person from trained riggers first. Risk: high.

Swinging and play parties (sex clubs, dungeons). Swapping partners, or going to sex, swingers' or BDSM parties. 5.8% of US adults have been to a sex or swingers' party and 3.4% to a BDSM party or dungeon. Negotiate before you go, and take a friend to your first dungeon. Risk: low.

Kinks T to W

Temperature play (ice play). Cold or warmth on the skin, from ice cubes to warmed or chilled steel and glass toys. Test anything warm on your own skin first, and never use dry ice, which can freeze skin. Steel toys like njoy's hold heat and cold well. Risk: low.

Threesomes and group sex. Sex with more than one partner at once. 13.9% of US adults have had a threesome and 8.8% group sex. Use barriers and get tested regularly (CDC). Risk: moderate.

Tickling (knismolagnia). Tickling as a sexual interest. Someone laughing hard can't easily say a safeword, so agree on a non-verbal signal. Risk: low.

Top, bottom and switch. The top does the action and the bottom receives it, and the words often overlap with dominant and submissive. A switch moves between roles. Either partner can use the safeword, not only the one receiving. Risk: low.

Total power exchange (24/7, lifestyle D/s). A relationship with no break from the power exchange, rather than separate scenes. Consent can still be taken back and gets revisited, and abuse can happen inside a power exchange as in any relationship. Risk: moderate.

Uniforms and authority roleplay. Arousal from uniforms or from playing authority roles. Uniforms are among the most common fetishes. Risk: low.

Vore (vorarephilia). The fantasy of eating or being eaten alive by a person or creature. It can't be acted out, so it lives in stories and art. Risk: low.

Voyeurism (consensual). Arousal from watching others undress or have sex with their consent, whether a partner, a willing couple or porn made consensually. 39.7% of US adults find watching others appealing. Watching or recording anyone without consent is a crime. Risk: low.

Wartenberg wheel (pinwheel). A spiked wheel the neurologist Robert Wartenberg described in 1948 for testing skin sensation, used for prickly sensation play. Pressed hard it breaks the skin, so wipe it with alcohol after every use. Risk: low.

Watching each other (mutual masturbation). Masturbating in front of a partner or watching them. 41.5% of US adults have masturbated in front of a partner, and 48.4% find watching one appealing. Risk: low.

Watersports (golden showers, urophilia). Sexual interest in urine, being urinated on or urinating on a partner. Urine doesn't carry HIV, but it isn't sterile either, so keep it to the skin and away from eyes and cuts. Risk: low.

Wax play. Dripping melted candle wax on skin. Use candles made to melt below 125°F rather than beeswax or tapers, drip from 8 to 18 inches up, and keep it off the face (Go Ask Alice!). Risk: moderate.

Whipping (single tail). A whip that lands quick, stinging strikes, the hardest impact toy to learn. 15% of US adults have playfully whipped or been whipped. Bruising is expected after a real whipping, so it's never a first toy. Risk: high.

What's Not on This List

Some things will never be on this list. Nothing on this page involves minors in any form, roleplay included, or family members, animals, or anyone who hasn't agreed or can't, like someone asleep. Consent is what makes something kink rather than abuse, and psychiatry draws its line in the same place: an interest acted out on someone unwilling, or on someone who can't give legal consent, counts as a disorder.

Breath play and choking are on the list because people ask about them, and the answer is that there is no safe version. Leaving out how-to detail is the point.

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